Shower
Several days after the wedding and I think we’ve fully recovered from the lack of sleep and the long days that were the nights surrounding and day of. The wedding day started VERY early with us waking up for the Haldi ceremony, where haldi (turmeric and water paste) is smeared on the skin of both the bride and groom at their respective homes. Since my home is on another continent, mine took place at her uncle and aunt’s house – Ramesh, who took my dad and I to see the Buddhist Stupa a few days ago. The house was adorned with yellow and white flowers, and I was positioned in a chair with rice dropped on my head and turmeric smeared on my face, arms, and legs.
There are a few reasons and beliefs for this tradition: yellow is an auspicious color and helps bring in a life of prosperity for the couple, turmeric is a known antiseptic so this ceremony also has some health benefits, and is even known to alleviate nervousness since there is a natural mild anti-depressant in turmeric.
Once I was sufficiently covered in the haldi paste, Puji’s relatives (as well as my father) showered me with warm water while still sitting in the chair outside. After this and more pictures while shivering from the drying water, I was able to take a quick shower to rinse the rest of the turmeric off. Once dry and dressed I received a marking on my forehead resembling a fleur de lis, which was a marking signifying I am getting married. After this was completed and we had an early lunch, my dad and I went back to the hotel to rest up before the big ceremony started that evening.
Wedding
Around 5pm we had dressed in our wedding attire – my dad in a kurta and I in a Sherwani. On the walk in to the hall, Chetan had to come and wash my feet, symbolic of him begging me to wed his sister. I was supposed to have a gift prepared for him, but I forgot about it so I looked like a dumb foreigner at my own wedding (not the first time, nor the last). We were instructed to continue walking slowly (no sense in rushing to a place I’ll be sitting for several hours), kind of like a grand entrance for the groom and his processional. Went straight for the groom dressing room on stage right, where my dad, Padma (wedding coach; made sure I knew what to do and say, would have been lost without her), and I waited while Puji was on stage.
Puji had some stuff to do on stage prior to my stage entrance, so I just hung out and hydrated in the room. I wasn’t supposed to see her until a certain point in the ceremony, so when I finally came on stage, there was a veil between where we were sitting. We tied strings around each other’s wrists that had a small leaf in it, symbolizing the promise of marriage, then had betl leafs placed in our hands, jaggery and rice mix on that, which we proceeded to place on each other’s heads, which was the actual moment we became a married couple and the vail was lifted. In old traditional arranged Indian marriages, that would be the moment the bride and groom would see each other FOR THE FIRST TIME. Crazy to think about, huh?
After this Puji and I remained seated while all the wedding guests came up and blessed us with sprinkling rice on our heads and giving of a few gifts, accompanied with several pictures. This went on for an hour or two, I’m not really sure how long, but long enough for my foot to keep falling asleep. Sitting cross-legged on a small wooden stool isn’t that great for circulation.
After the blessings were all done, we changed into white clothes (kurta for me), and did some of the ‘fun’ games. These included pouring more rice on each other’s heads, colored Styrofoam balls (symbolism?) and beads. The Styrofoam balls we actually blew in each other’s faces, which was fun since we tried to take the chance away from the other, as well as try to make the other miss with the rice.
My favorite part was the dropping of the rings – one being gold and the other silver – into a jar of water, with us competing to grab the gold ring. The person pulling the gold ring out of the jar is said to be the boss of the relationship. I think I won by 5-4, so it was close, but I came out on top. After several more rounds of photos, we finally got to get some food around 11 oclock, and then went back to the hotel after an exhausting day, and we still had one more thing for the morning.
Dec 15 – The Puja – Morning after
The Puja is a series of prayers led by the same main priest, or Brahman, from the wedding but takes place at the home of the bride. There was a shrine set up in their living room, with all of the family sitting around spectating. Puji and I sat on one rug while her parents sat on another, and the priest had us go through several rituals involving sprinkling rice and flowers on the shrine, smashing 5 coconuts in between 5 stories of various Hindu gods, with the last coconut containing a flower, which is said to be a good omen.
After the ceremony ended, we went downstairs to have lunch, and then my dad headed back to the hotel. He had a 3-1/2-hour car ride back to Hyderabad to make his evening flight to Dubai/Dallas/St. Louis with the multi-hour drive to Charleston from there. I was so happy to have him come with me to experience the adventure and take part in the wedding.
After my dad left, Puji, Shweta and I went back to the hotel to rest, as we were all exhausted. From the long wedding day and the lengthy Puja ceremony. Ended up staying in for dinner, too, as Shweta had a 9am flight from Hyderabad and an unholy wakeup time in order to start the trip to Hyderabad to make it there in time.
Last Day in Khammam
Our last day in Khammam started with a late breakfast for Chetan, Puji, and myself. We then hopped in the car with her parents to make a few house visits, the first of which was to her uncle Ramesh and aunt Devi. Had some lunch, looked through wedding photos of their daughter Neetu and her husband Seshu while their little daughter, Jai, was grabbing everyone’s attention with her little giggle and persistent smile.
After leaving there we went to see Vishnu’s grandmother at the age of 97 years young. She was a very sweet woman, and happy to see Puji and to meet me. Not able to move around very much for very understandable reasons, she had to be coached how to say my name (as Americans have difficulty saying Indian names, some Indians have trouble saying American names).
We took some pictures and said our goodbye’s, and made it over to Vishnu’s uncle’s house. After having some lunch at Ramesh and Devi’s (Neetu’s parents) house, Chetan and I stopped by the hotel so I could pack up and return with all my things for the drive to Hyderabad and flight to Delhi for the start of the northern India tour of Delhi, Jaipur, and Agra.
The internet where I am (Jaipur) is pretty slow, so I’ll put pictures up when I can.
An American in India 